Gavin Lennon

"Avoid olive starter. Calzone is 'ok', nothing special. Best bit: cheesecake."

"Know that by staying here, you have completely *free* access to the Aqua Rock water theme park nearby (5 mins. Walk). Simply ask at Reception for the red wrist-band. Et Voila!"

"Wi-Fi is available in reception. But go downstairs to the Internet/TV room, download speeds are much much better there, up to c.500Kb."

"Avoid Sunday Roast at all costs. Utterly overdone, barely edible."

"Don' buy kids any squash: £1.30 for dash+water. Robbery. It's 0.20p in the Crown & Horses, around the corner."

"Bring a picnic. The prices here are crazy. Also: they've ruined it by bolting the kids' play area onto the farm - thus forcing you to pay to get in. There's a separate price on *everything*. Meh."