Long Duck Dong

"The scotch is delightful!"

"Sad day - the trees don't even want to live in the filth!"

"New to the area and need a friend? Kettler's got you covered. For the cost of rent they better not leave you flying solo! Friends can be found outside on the park bench or late night in the clubhouse"

"Try the green dirt, it's a Kettler special and goes wonderful with several weeks of uncut grass! All this can be yours for the highest rents in the area!"

"No dogs allowed. Dogs are welcome to enjoy the green dirt in the side yard. Thank you Kettler, enjoy my 2000 in pet fees"

"Unfortunately it's no longer a pet friendly community, which used to make this a great property. 2/3rds of the park is now off limits to pets. Save the money ($1000/dog) and rent elsewhere."