Patrick Schumacker

"I recommend the mole removal."

"I've lived one block away & never went in til tonight. What was I thinking? Great!"

"One time someone left a magnum revolver in the bathroom. A barista found it and hid it under a towel behind the counter until the cops came. This 'Bucks is hardcore, fool!"

"Mr. Williger, your mayoral office reeks of corruption!"

"The 2nd floor bathroom is the best place to do number twos. How do I know? Because I'm doing it right now."